Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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