Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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