Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
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Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
and you fell through a lawn chair
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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