When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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