handjob tips. give me some.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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