Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
