Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I found somebody to have a 3 sum with

(586): View more from Michigan

shutup! Who?!?

(248): View more from Michigan

Hahaha April fools!

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(248): I found somebody to have a 3 sum with (586): shutup! Who?!? (248): Hahaha April fools! http://tfl.nu/w7zs

Replies (12) Good night (936) Bad night (1570)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Chicken burrito, or no deal.

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

Is that code for my vagina?

(402): View more from Nebraska

Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito

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(402): Chicken burrito, or no deal. (1-402): Is that code for my vagina? (402): Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito http://tfl.nu/ldfv

Replies (30) Good night (4215) Bad night (967)
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(714): View more from California

she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.

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(714): she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt. http://tfl.nu/52xp

Replies (12) Good night (578) Bad night (2918)
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(858): View more from California

I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.

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(858): I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star. http://tfl.nu/5mxp

Replies (67) Good night (3901) Bad night (2227)
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(314): View more from Missouri

My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?

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(314): My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF? http://tfl.nu/cban

Replies (21) Good night (1702) Bad night (5694)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.

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(414): have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion. http://tfl.nu/gjm1

Replies (68) Good night (646) Bad night (6088)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.

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(918): I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did. http://tfl.nu/i39w

Replies (13) Good night (2976) Bad night (1314)
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(765): View more from Indiana

Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.

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(765): Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud. http://tfl.nu/41vp

Replies (7) Good night (4517) Bad night (669)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread

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(615): 6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread http://tfl.nu/f1c5

Replies (6) Good night (1934) Bad night (979)
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(537): View more from

I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.

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(537): I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby. http://tfl.nu/uudp

Replies (8) Good night (1804) Bad night (461)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.

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(815): Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa. http://tfl.nu/kz18

Replies (3) Good night (1854) Bad night (532)
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(352): View more from Florida

I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!

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(352): I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas! http://tfl.nu/fx1v

Replies (4) Good night (1768) Bad night (513)
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(443): View more from Maryland

You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.

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(443): You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are. http://tfl.nu/njd0

Replies (5) Good night (1330) Bad night (428)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.

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(502): Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home. http://tfl.nu/5iun

Replies (15) Good night (481) Bad night (816)
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(303): View more from Colorado

So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"

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(303): So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode" http://tfl.nu/uekw

Replies (3) Good night (778) Bad night (360)

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