Texts From Last Night

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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.

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  (336): walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life. http://tfl.nu/o34i
  Replies (39) Good night (2088) Bad night (12760)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'

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  (215): why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex' http://tfl.nu/kqne
  Replies (63) Good night (7159) Bad night (1449)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I think college has really matured you.

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  (901): Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front. (662): I think college has really matured you. http://tfl.nu/th4l
  Replies (19) Good night (4605) Bad night (732)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I just googled if crying burns calories

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  (416): I just googled if crying burns calories http://tfl.nu/qfsf
  Replies (14) Good night (1152) Bad night (3560)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.

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  (+61): You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes. http://tfl.nu/b96e
  Replies (2) Good night (2162) Bad night (1008)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.

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  (519): That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked. http://tfl.nu/ff8s
  Replies (9) Good night (763) Bad night (2573)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did

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  (910): It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did http://tfl.nu/v7hu
  Replies (11) Good night (941) Bad night (1567)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet

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  (812): He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet http://tfl.nu/4ir7
  Replies (7) Good night (2659) Bad night (843)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball

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  (917): I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball http://tfl.nu/axxp
  Replies (24) Good night (701) Bad night (2922)
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  (714): View more from California

  Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick

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  (714): Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick http://tfl.nu/zf2b
  Replies (3) Good night (2478) Bad night (614)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.

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  (814): I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait. http://tfl.nu/20g4
  Replies (2) Good night (964) Bad night (613)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  and you were wondering how she got into Harvard

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  (774): She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant (401): and you were wondering how she got into Harvard http://tfl.nu/kceh
  Replies (0) Good night (960) Bad night (385)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.

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  (+61): A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty. http://tfl.nu/ftfe
  Replies (2) Good night (692) Bad night (362)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride

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  (716): Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride http://tfl.nu/1rhf
  Replies (1) Good night (742) Bad night (295)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut

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  (402): sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut http://tfl.nu/dm9v
  Replies (6) Good night (358) Bad night (659)

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