Texts From Last Night

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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker

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  (920): its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker http://tfl.nu/gudl
  Replies (11) Good night (1689) Bad night (3425)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.

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  (724): i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook. http://tfl.nu/t8ot
  Replies (11) Good night (4427) Bad night (973)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute

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  (705): From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute http://tfl.nu/yhtx
  Replies (8) Good night (1473) Bad night (4101)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"

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  (301): we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos" http://tfl.nu/vb8d
  Replies (9) Good night (5287) Bad night (1330)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me

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  (847): as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me http://tfl.nu/nasi
  Replies (23) Good night (6158) Bad night (1724)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.

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  (413): It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element. http://tfl.nu/cv3c
  Replies (5) Good night (1745) Bad night (655)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project

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  (207): I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project http://tfl.nu/3ddm
  Replies (1) Good night (1149) Bad night (351)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.

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  (816): Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going. http://tfl.nu/sjn0
  Replies (11) Good night (2607) Bad night (829)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.

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  (908): I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested. http://tfl.nu/1tav
  Replies (4) Good night (884) Bad night (412)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count

  (516): View more from New York

  then nothing in my life counts

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  (860): official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count (516): then nothing in my life counts http://tfl.nu/4fe8
  Replies (8) Good night (1843) Bad night (503)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.

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  (920): He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week. http://tfl.nu/0wxx
  Replies (3) Good night (524) Bad night (241)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.

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  (615): I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn. http://tfl.nu/8jte
  Replies (2) Good night (596) Bad night (208)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.

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  (248): By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it. http://tfl.nu/tqx4
  Replies (4) Good night (847) Bad night (282)
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  (714): View more from California

  I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?

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  (714): I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve? http://tfl.nu/wdxs
  Replies (1) Good night (578) Bad night (245)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.

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  (304): When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night. http://tfl.nu/a3k2
  Replies (1) Good night (210) Bad night (568)

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