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so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
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