ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
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You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
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Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.