That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
