my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
