Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
