think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
