p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
