im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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