I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
