Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
