Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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