why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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