We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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