I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize