Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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