Too much gin, very little bucket
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
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But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
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Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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