Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
