the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
