I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize