I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
