Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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