Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
