I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
