she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
