Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
