i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
