Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
