Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
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her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
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Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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