3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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