Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
