Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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