Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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