so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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