She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
