i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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