nutella sex= disaster
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
