At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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