We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
