I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT