the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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