just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm like, not good at living.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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