Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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