we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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