last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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