Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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