I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
