He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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