I feel like I'm in dance class right now
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
