whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
