i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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